


All of You

by moonbeambucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 06:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12427005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbeambucky/pseuds/moonbeambucky
Summary: Bucky is nervous when you sleep over for the first time. It doesn’t help that he accidentally punches you while he’s having a nightmare.





	All of You

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on tumblr for @propertyofpoeandbucky Iylla's 3k Disney Challenge. My prompt was But if you want to leave, you can. I’ll remember you though….I remember everyone that leaves.” from Lilo and Stitch.

The howling wind whirred hard against the giant window pane. You overlooked Manhattan below, the bustling city now quieting under the thick blankets of snow. Bucky had invited you to the Tower earlier that day to watch a movie, not expecting the winter storm warning to become a full fledged blizzard. As a result you would be taking a huge step in your relationship, sleeping over.

Bucky was nervous, having jumped into previous relationships too quickly, a desperate attempt to prove to himself that he can live a regular life despite his past. But his relationships ended as quickly as they were formed and he couldn’t help but feel dejected. You met him one day unexpectedly while you were at the florist’s treating yourself to fresh flowers, something you were seldom able to do as you had to spend money on more important things like rent or Netflix.

“Uh, excuse me miss.” You heard the unsure voice of a stranger and turned around to see him. Your mouth hung slightly open, recognizing him as James Buchanan Barnes despite the baseball cap that shadowed his face. “May I ask your opinion?” You nodded in response, snapping your jaw shut as you gazed at an Avenger in the flesh. He was so much taller than you thought, and muscular, and oh so handsome and…

“So which is better?” he asked, holding up two bouquets. You realized you probably missed a sentence or two he said but tried to cover for yourself.  
“This is for…?” you asked, dragging out your words.  
“Birthday gift, for a friend,” he replied.

You looked at the two very different bundles of flowers, one hand held a beautiful bouquet of red and pink roses, large pink lilies and other blush colored flowers that filled in the surrounding space. With a gloved hand he held a bright bouquet of daisies in a variety of colors.

“Is this  _just_  a friend?” you inquired.  
His eyes crinkled as he laughed at your presumption, unable to consider Wanda as anything other than a little sister to him. He responded with a firm yes.

Watching his face light up with a beaming smile you couldn’t help but form one of your own. “I’d go for the daisies then. They’re more festive.”  
“Thanks, that’s what I was thinking.” He placed the romantic looking bouquet back where he found it. “I’m Bucky, by the way,” he said, offering you his hand.  
“I know who you are.” The eager words came out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them. “I mean, I’m Y/N,” you said, extended one hand to meet his, as the other went to your face to hide your embarrassment.

Bucky offered to pay for the bouquet of sunflowers you picked up. You thanked him but politely declined as you made your way to the register. His head was tilted with interest as he watched you make small talk with the silver haired woman behind the counter.

“It was nice meeting you,” you said, passing him to head towards the door.  
“Hey wait!” Bucky shouted.

He had offered to buy you coffee instead and that’s where it all started. Once you were “official” Bucky had asked if he could continue to take things slow and you happily obliged. Dating Bucky was lovely and you really took the time to get to know each other.

You would go on lengthy strolls around New York City where you talked until long after the sun went down. He took you to small coffee shops partially because he refused to pay the ridiculously inflated prices at Starbucks, and also because these quaint shops reminded him of the past where “Mom and Pop” businesses were ubiquitous.

It took time for Bucky to slowly let his guard down, he worried you would leave after learning firsthand about the terrible things he’s done. You saw through his insecurities, knowing the sweet person inside was sadly manipulated and abused through the years.

Eventually you met the rest of the team but your stomach fluttered and churned with anxiety as you prepared to meet Steve Rogers. Anyone would be nervous meeting Captain America but the added pressure of him being your boyfriend’s best friend didn’t help. You had nothing to worry about though as you got along with everyone, earning bonus points from Bucky as you exchanged quips with Sam faster than he ever could have. Your presence at the Tower increased as the group happily accepted you, which lead to tonight’s predicament.

“Looks like I’m not going anywhere tonight,” you stated, turning towards Bucky whose complexion seemed to mimic the falling snow. “This is place is huge, I know there’s an extra bed somewhere.” You grabbed his hand for reassurance, knowing you didn’t want to pressure Bucky into anything.

“No, it’s okay Y/N,” he exhaled a deep breath, “We can sleep together. I mean sleep in the same bed together,” he frantically sputtered, turning redder with every word.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Bucky really,” you took his hands in yours, looking up at his nervous face, “If you’re not comfortable with it I’m completely fine sleeping in another room,” you said with sincerity.

He brought your hands up to his lips, kissing them softly. “Thank you Y/N, but really I’m okay with it.” You threw your arms around him, caressing the nape of his neck as you brought him towards you for a sweet kiss.

Bucky gave you a t-shirt and sweatpants to change into. You stayed up for a little while longer, snuggling cozily together in his bed, flipping between channels before you settled on reruns of  _Impractical Jokers_. The show had lifted away any nerves Bucky felt. He stifled a burst of laughter when he realized you had fallen asleep on his chest, hearing the soft noises of your tired body. Bucky turned off the TV, kissing the top of your head before he settled back into the pillow and smiled once more having your sleeping frame beside him.

* * *

You woke up in panic, hissing as you held your cheek as it throbbed with pain while you tried to figure out what was happening in the dark room. Someone punched you, but who? You heard Bucky grunting and struggling and you felt his legs kicking at the mattress.  _How did someone get in the Tower?_ You managed to find the lamp on the nightstand, turning it on you saw you were alone with Bucky and the only thing he was struggling with was his mind.

He told you about his nightmares but you didn’t realize how physical they were. His jaw was clenched, beads of sweat littered his forehead as his body twisted and turned on the bed. You were scared for him. You whispered his name a few times but he didn’t wake up. Taking a deep breath you leaned over him, gently caressing his chest as you spoke louder, “Bucky wake up. It’s okay baby, just wake up.”

A strong hand wrapped around your wrist before his fear stricken eyes opened, he panted heavily as he realized his familiar surroundings. He let go of you quickly and sat up against the headboard, catching his breath with his eyes shut tightly. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, to comfort him after the trauma he was reliving but you could tell he needed space.

You sat in silence for a minute or so before getting up to get him a bottle of water. He opened his eyes feeling your weight shift off of the mattress. Your lips were curved up into a tiny smile as you handed him the cold bottle.

“Thanks Y/N, I…” He stopped as anger and grief washed over him, his eyes caught a glance of your cheek in the light seeing a small abrasion surrounded by redness. “Oh no,” he cried.

His hands balled into fists which he began pounding onto his head.  
“Bucky stop!” you cried, grabbing his hands.

“I’m so sorry Y/N,” he said, lifting his head up you saw the tears lining the brim of his eyes. “I can’t believe I did that, I can’t,” he panted, as his breaths began to labor again.

“Shhh Bucky it’s…” you attempted to console him but he flung his arms up in protest, getting up to pace around the room.

“If the roads are clear you can go home, if not I’ll go to another room. It doesn’t matter,” he said sorrowfully. “ **But if you want to leave, you can. I’ll remember you though… I remember everyone that leaves** ,” he continued under his breath.  
“What are you talking about Bucky?”

Tears flowed freely down his cheeks, “I remember them, every one. Marissa, the girl who shuddered every time my metal hand touched her, or Janel who took one look at my scars and made me feel like the monster that I am. You can leave Y/N, I’m used to it,” he said as the words bubbled in his throat.

“Bucky, I’m not going anywhere,” you sternly insisted.  
“I hit you!” he screamed.  
“By accident!” you retorted, trying reasoned with him.

Bucky inhaled deeply as he gathered his thoughts, “I’m a mess Y/N. Being with me, it’s dangerous and… j-just look at me,” he huffed, head hanging low in shame.

You got off of the bed and stood in front of him, clasping your hands together around his back as you embraced him. His body shuddered with sobs underneath your touch. “Bucky I knew you who were when we met and I didn’t want to leave.”

He sighed loudly, you looked up at his pained face, his eyes were still shut tight but that didn’t stop the tears from escaping. You let go, gently ghosting your hands over his, grazing his fingers with a delicate touch until they intertwined with your own.

“Come here,” you gently whispered, pulling him to sit on the bed again. Your thumb swiped against his tear stained cheek. “Over the last few months I got to know the person in here,” you said, placing your palm on his rapidly beating heart. “It was an accident Bucky, we both know that. I forgive you and…I love you.”

Bucky lifted his head from his slouched position, his mouth fell open at your admission. 

“I love you Bucky, all of you, and I’m not going anywhere,” you proudly declared, bringing his metal hand up to your lips and kissing the smooth palm.

“I love you too Y/N,” he sniffled, as he pressed his forehead against yours. You leaned in further, quickly licking your lips before bringing them to meet his for a tender and passionate kiss.

His gently cupped your face into his warm hand as he pressed a loving peck against the tender area of your cheek before wrapping his arms around you again. You lay back on the bed, watching the rise and fall of his chest, as he settled back into the mattress. No one said dating Bucky would be easy but love isn’t easy and you were in this for the long run.

“I love you Bucky,” you softly murmured, knowing he needed to hear it again. A smile painted his face as your calming words helped quiet his mind so he could fall back asleep.


End file.
